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there is a hot question on Zhihu:

"in marriage, what do men lack to make people lose hope for marriage and give up their hearts completely?"

some people say: "plans for the future."

some people say: "responsibility to the family."

A high praise replied:

"obviously the marriage of two people always makes one person sing an one-man show, and he becomes an indifferent spectator, such an attitude makes people lose hope."

if you want to grow old, a man cannot live without these two things.

No tolerance

criticize your partner's mistakes

Love is to let you see the best side of two people, while marriage is to let each other see the truest side.

even couples who agree with each other will have conflicts and quarrels in all kinds of piecemeal lives.

the longer it takes, all kinds of shortcomings and bad habits will appear one by one.

everyone is an independent individual, with his own edges, character and temper.

A marriage that understands tolerance lasts longer, otherwise looking at things from God's point of view and blaming what has happened will only build a high wall in their hearts and affect their relationship.

Men, in particular, should not haggle and blame their wives for their shortcomings or faults.

but should learn to be tolerant and deal with family chores in a more mature way.

there are two families:

A couple, after taking the driving test, the wife wanted her husband to take the copilot to remind herself because she was not proficient in it. As a result, the two almost divorced.

it turns out that my wife is timid and slow when she starts driving. On the road, her husband always complains that she is stupid and tells her not to be brave.

under many accusations and complaints, the wife couldn't stand it and stepped on the accelerator and rear-ended the car in front. As a result, they were deducted points and fined, and the two had a big fight about it.

after that, the husband always clings to the matter and humiliates it when he quarrels.

the wife feels that her husband has no tolerance at all, with a small belly and chicken intestines, and the two often have a big fight at home.

in contrast to another couple, the wife once heard the child crying after taking a bath and blowing her hair and hurriedly put down the hair dryer to take care of the baby.

although the husband wanted to remind her not to do this for the first time, he finally thought it was important to appease his wife.

later, when she mentioned this in small talk, my wife said she felt a little guilty, but luckily it didn't cause a major disaster.

her husband joked and comforted her that she only lost a hairdryer. It's no big deal. Just be careful in the future.

hearing her husband's words of relief, the wife was relieved, and the relationship between the two became better and better after communication.

Bo Yang said:

"people who live in marriage live with their eyes half open and half closed. There are no perfect men and women in the world. If you keep your eyes open for too long, or look at you with a demon mirror for too long, I'm afraid even God can find fault. "

if a marriage wants to be happy for a long time, it needs to be tolerant. If you always look at your partner with a critical eye every day, no matter how good a relationship is, it will fall apart.

inconsiderate

turn a blind eye to your partner's efforts

Wong Kar-wai once said:

"I never thought that marriage was so complicated. I thought it would be fine for one person to do well, but it is not enough for two people to be together."

when you meet a partner who is not considerate, your efforts are worthless in his eyes, and such a marriage cannot last long.

under the traditional concept, the family model is generally based on the stereotype of men on the outside and women on the inside.

so most of the time, people subconsciously think that people who go out to work are the hardest, while subconsciously ignore the efforts of their full-time at-home partners.

you give up your dreams, in his opinion, women should be;

he takes it for granted that you work hard to take care of family affairs.

you are busy taking care of the family, and he plays games after work.

in an intimate relationship, we should not only see the giving of our partner, but also give more care and response.

otherwise, the partner who sings a monologue will only become more and more chilled until he or she loses confidence in marriage.

Xiao Liu and her husband divorced hastily after less than two years of marriage. his husband was considerate before marriage, but he seemed to be a different person after marriage.

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both of them are very busy at work, and each time they are very tired after work. Xiao Liu gets off work early, usually cooks dinner, does housework, and waits for her husband to come back for dinner.

but since the adjustment of her job, she has to work overtime from time to time, but her husband has not changed anything. After returning home, she will only lie flat and play games, waiting for Xiao Liu to cook and wash clothes after work.

the two quarreled constantly about this, and the husband always disdained to say:

"you can't support your family with such a small salary. If you don't want to be so tired, you can quit your job and stay home. You don't have to be so tired."

Xiao Liu was very cold about this, and several communications were ineffective, so he made up his mind about divorce.

sometimes what defeats marriage is not infidelity or domestic violence, but something hidden in daily life. Regardless of the mode of division of labor in the family, men should not be inconsiderate.

No matter what stage you are in your marriage, you must learn to care for your partner and think of others instead of being a giant baby in your marriage.

A good relationship can always be each other's first supporter. Understand and care for each other, so that the marriage can be better and better.

MiyazakiHayao once said:

"Love is not looking for a perfect person, but learning to appreciate the imperfect person with perfect eyes."

A marriage, from the moment you enter, is doomed to face many challenges in life.

from piano, chess, calligraphy, painting, poetry, hops to firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce and vinegar tea, from ideal to reality, both husband and wife have to make changes based on themselves.

A marriage with tolerance and understanding is closer to happiness.

, may we all meet the right people, understand each other, tolerate each other, and work side by side with each other.